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Once Upon A Plane (Vol. 1, No. 7)
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.  After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles.  The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.  Now sit back and relax....AHHHHHH OH, MY GOD!"  The mic clicked off, silence followed, and after a couple of minutes, the captain came back on teh intercome and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.  While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!"  A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing, you should see the back of mine."
 
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